‘’DAAD’’ and ‘’DAD’’: Two major deeds for my life

After gaining some years of experience in the development and humanitarian sector in Nepal, I was in search of a degree that could match my interests, notions and justify my academic accolades. With months of dedication, I was offered a German Academic Service Exchange (DAAD) scholarship to pursue a Master’s in Germany with a major in development economics. It was really a game-changer for me to escalate my skills, communicate with the international community and broaden my knowledge in the desired field.

And the journey to Germany was set with my beloved wife who left an attractive job to be with me during my studies. Accordingly, with all the hardships, we began to embark on our exploration of Europe. Though I had already explored some European countries in the past, being with my better half was heart soothing support to me. After some months of habitual activities in Germany, as mature husbands and wives, we also decided to become parents without thinking a second about caring for and raising a child. Confronting our deep discussions, debates, support, and like-mindedness, the chaos for parentship won our battles and the tides of parenthood slowly started to crawl in the womb of my better half. At first, sharing the message to family members turn out to be a shy and mix of fear and happiness at the same time. We had a smile on our faces receiving warm wishes from the parents. As the coursework began, I was confronted with the rigorous arrangement of insurance things and a suitable apartment for living together with the child.

Having resided in one of the developed countries, I had less to worry about health and living conditions. Being in Germany for my prospective Master’s studies, a question always aroused to my mind whether I am going to execute it well or not. In the meantime, the heartbeat continued to its peak when it was the day, we became parents and most important ‘’DAD’’ of a son. I cannot express the joy, happiness, and luminosity of being a DAD but at the same time, I can never forget the hours of labor pain, heart-wrenching pain that I witnessed throughout the delivery of my wife. Seeing this picture, I can imagine how grateful mothers are; the creator of life. I always thank God that I was able to hold my wife’s hand from the inception of pregnancy to the arrival of a newborn baby; the most beautiful moment to cherish. All the mixed feelings always trigger my mind and turn into an eternal smile on my face.

To paint the rosy picture of my life, study and work life balance was indispensable to me. I used to be attentive during lecture time and had contingency reading materials targeted for the exams. The sleepless nights, anxieties, fear, innocent faces, hectic schedules, and exhaustion were always masked by the smile of the baby day by day we cherish our parenthood vibes to the fullest. Experiencing parenthood far away from home town is always challenging to be able to adapt to nurture a baby well. And the unprecedented Covid-19 also made various social activities and commute difficult. Even after the delivery of the baby, I could not accompany my wife to the hospital due to regulations though it was only for 2 days. In the beginning, we even rushed to the nearby hospital when our baby did not respond well to us during feeding, sleep, and others. However, the provision of midwife(hebamme) in Germany helped me a lot which I find after a months-long search in Hannover. And another support we were lucky to have my mother-in-law with us for 3 months here in Germany. And then we learned many things from an experienced person which relieved us in many ways.

In a nutshell, having a child abroad and getting a study at the same time are always prone to different risk factors.  Financial stability always comes first which in our case was secured. And continuing studies despite all day long care of mother and baby may lead to mental distress and post-pregnancy depressions which should be cautiously dealt with. And a message to married coupled opting for a baby, it is inevitable to have proper times to care your beloved throughout the pregnancy and thereafter. Being unable to do so may lead to mental stress and disturbances. For studies not to be bothered, it is always safe to have modules and assignments getting ready ahead of time. Even though there are provisions of maternal and paternal leaves, there is not to worry about, catching up own timeline is necessary. And the bottom line is parenthood journey which seems treacherous at the beginning turns into a priceless memoir always soothing your heart.  Waiting for better days to come in search of financial stability and comfort may delay your plans and burying oneself into a multitude of duties that sprout day after another. So, adding flavors and colors to life, what I felt is enjoying the small moments that come along. Life is a journey to cherish and be thankful for what you deserve. I always feel complete and relaxed with my journey of ‘’DAAD’’ to ‘’DAD’’ which added happiness that I never expect and responsibility to bear as parents. All these things work in harmony as eternal love to my beautiful family.